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shante

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7 Take a hit

ch ch ch changes [29 Jul 2005|02:11pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

then...

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now...

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damn dude things have changed ALOT in the past year and a half.

13 Take a hit

[27 Jul 2005|11:15pm]
i have a turtle, his name is ninja, and he is the fucking shit!

2 Take a hit

NEW PIERCING [25 Jul 2005|12:12am]
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3 Take a hit

[23 Jul 2005|05:51pm]
IM GETTING MY LIP PIERCED!

will post pics soon, i'm leaving right now :)

13 Take a hit

new hair color and such [11 Jul 2005|02:16pm]
[ mood | creative ]

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4 Take a hit

IM BACK [05 Jul 2005|08:53pm]
im home from miami, and i dont know what to say. i thought it was going to SUCK. and it actually wasnt bad. some of it was amazing. i had a spiritual awakening. im 31 days clean and sober, and i intend to stay that way for a while. maybe not forever, but a while. but it feels fucking awesome to be back to sarasota!

3 Take a hit

hey everyone [03 Jun 2005|09:42pm]
this is the last entry i'll be making for a while. i leave for rehab in the morning. i'm scared as hell, but i know i need this, and am almost looking forward to it. i'm considering it a vacation from my life. detox will be a bitch, but i'll be a better person when i get out. i love my family, my friends including all of you, and most of all my boyfriend matt. and i will miss all of you like fucking crazy. hopefully, time will fly by. oh well, see you all in 4-8 weeks...

2 Take a hit

[27 May 2005|10:23pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

i leave a week from tomorrow for rehab (june 4th) and im scared as fuck. call me a pussy but ive never had to leave everything and everyone i love, even for only 2 months. 2 months is long enough. i love my boyfriend so much. i can barely stand a day without seeing him. how the fuck am i going to handle this?

2 Take a hit

[20 May 2005|08:56pm]
[ mood | excited ]

my birthday is tomorrow!!

12 Take a hit

[02 May 2005|12:01pm]
ive decided for my protection to make this journal friends only. maybe i'm just a paranoid fuck.. but i dont like getting in trouble, so i'm going to prevent that in any way possible. thank you :)

1 Take a hit

itchy itchy [30 Apr 2005|04:56am]
so me being the crazy fuck that i am, i ate 3 60 mg 12 hour time release morphine capsules yesturday starting with the first one around 730 in the AM. now its 5 AM the next morning, andi m still faded as fuck. i have 180 mgs of morphine in me that will continue for the next day and a half.. yessss :) i loveee that opiate itch it's the best feeling in the world and i have it hardcore right now.

mmmm morphine


oh yes and they were allll free <3

4 Take a hit

[25 Apr 2005|10:37pm]
my boyfriend makes me so happy :)

1 Take a hit

<3 [23 Apr 2005|10:18pm]
you and me
even after everything
i'm the queen and you're the king
nothing else means anything

2 Take a hit

[20 Apr 2005|09:01pm]
[ mood | fucking baked ]

today was a great day

4 Take a hit

[17 Apr 2005|10:20pm]
who has 2 ounces for 4-20??? I DOOOOOOO

5 Take a hit

[12 Apr 2005|10:52pm]
life is good right now

Take a hit

[10 Apr 2005|10:11pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

so, after these next two months, i never have to go back to sarasota high again. thank fucking god.

4 Take a hit

shitty [07 Apr 2005|08:56pm]
getting caught sneaking out sucks, especially by the cops, especially when you're on probation, especially when you're super barred out. my parents were very pissed, but lucky for me they didnt call my p.o. i guess i should be thankful but im more pissed, because now they're going to keep the alarm on every night. which means i cant sneak out for the next month or so. damn! i know that isnt a very long time but this means noooo social night life.. noooo getting faded. only during the day, but that is only so much fun. nighttime is what its all about. i could still prolly find a way to get out, but i havent decided if its worth it yet. i am so close to being free, and they said next time im caught i will definately be called on. so damn, hard decision. i had such good plans for this weekend too! my fucking bitch mom sold me out too she told the cop straight up i was on probation and i had 8 o clock curfew. and just waited to see what he would do. he could have taken me right there. thank god for the generous cops ive been encountering lately. ive been pulled over 4 times in the past 2 weeks, and this is the only consequence ive been faced with. this must mean something...

2 Take a hit

[04 Apr 2005|09:11pm]
back to school, 36 days to work my ass off.

1 Take a hit

[29 Mar 2005|10:45pm]
nothing can stop me now
cuz i dont care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cuz i just dont care.

2 Take a hit

[27 Mar 2005|11:45am]
i got a kate spade purse for easter hell yea

5 Take a hit

[24 Mar 2005|02:00pm]
[ mood | really really really upset ]

i have never been so hurt in my life. i have never been so angry. i dont think ive ever cried so much. it doesnt even feel real. id like to imagine its not. but all the drugs in the world wont make this hurt go away. the person i have been in love with for almost the past year is deciding to break up with me 7 FUCKING DAYS before hes supposed to come home and see me. i have been waiting for this fucker for 6 months, all i've wanted all this time is to see him and kiss him again. how the fuck could he do this to me? all these letters telling me how much he loves me and cant wait to see me. i got one 5 days ago. he asks me what i want to do when he comes for his homepass and all this shit and then i get one today saying he has to do this for personal growth and he cant do the things he did before he went into his program, which i know and i was here to support him in anyway possible. he wants to go to school. so do i. why we cant be together and go to school i dont understand. i hope something has happened in his program that made him do this, something i can fix or talk with him about. he does counseling and im thinking they may have said something to him. but i am a mess. a complete fucking mess. i loved this boy more than anything. i feel like i have no one now. my best friend will be occupied from now until forever, and i am left alone. he understood me. atleast i thought. i am so hurt. fuck. i am so hurt. he actually called me a distraction. A FUCKING DISTRACTION. THE GIRL YOU LOVE IS A FUCKING DISTRACTION YOU PIECE OF SHIT. i cant belive this is happening 7 fucking days before he is supposed to be here. he told me he wants me to give his ID and ring and stuff to his parents but i wrote him a long letter back including how i will give his stuff back but only to him in person after i talk to him and get to see him. because this is bullshit. if i have been wasting my time all these months when i could have found someone who really loved me, im going to be so pissed. i have stopped talking to alot of my guy friends because all i wanted was to see him and i thought he was all i needed. well i guess i fucked up. i cant fucking belive this shit.

Take a hit

[23 Mar 2005|08:41am]
edit: im not going to let anything bother me anymore : )

2 Take a hit

[22 Mar 2005|11:20am]
wow 9 days

4 Take a hit

[20 Mar 2005|09:29pm]
i'm really bored and i want to write a long entry about something important but i realize i dont have much important to say. how disappointing. last night some people at my work got caught smoking weed by my boss on the clock and hes super pissed. i had to work today and he came in and talked to everyone and now he knows we've pretty much all smoked there and he's mad that i knew other people did but i didnt tell him because i guess he trusted me alot. well, not anymore. he told me never to wear my tongue ring again and no one is trusted anymore. we are all screwed. no one is fired, but it will be really shitty for the next few months. dammit i hate when people fuck up and i have to deal with their shit. FUCK MY WORK. i hate jersey mikes so much i never want to go back again unfortuantely i have a fucking bitch p.o. that makes me keep a job. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i'm going to look for a new job anyone know any places hiring?

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